Saturday, March 31, 2012

Mirror, Mirror

With most things in my life, I'm usually hesitant to share anything about myself because I'm an intensely private person. But for the past few months I've been on a journey that I think needs to be shared with others and it only really hit me today that maybe I should put this out there and if someone happens across it and is inspired to make a change in their own life, than all of this is good.

So anyways, the story starts off like this: Vanity. It's not just vanity, but a combination of vanity and good health. It's a weird mix, but so is pear and mustard (and they are amazing together).

For most of my life I have been over-overweight and because of the way weight is viewed in Western society, it has excluded me from social groups, not to mention affected my self-esteem and image. In addition to that, my weight has limited me in my activities and kept me from doing things that I would have loved to do. And lets not leave out the health issue. Granted a few extra pounds is not going to kill you, but having more then needed plus excess causes all kinds of problems; from mobility to difficultly breathing to diabetes.

You might be wondering where is this going? Don't worry I'm getting to that ;)

So like I said earlier, it starts off with vanity. I had talked about it with my mom and (of course, like all moms) she just wants me to be healthy. But it's more than that for me, I want to look good and I want others to think I look good too. Vanity.

So I started to come up with a plan. It wasn't like I hadn't ever tried to lose weight before, I had. Some stuff worked, some stuff didn't. But this time had to be different. I had to really commit myself to changing my lifestyle. And just like a smoker who wants to quit, I had to fail a few times before I could say, "Right! This time is going to be different; it has to be, because I can't do this anymore, literary and 'figuratively'." (See what I did there? That's a play on words... ^_^)

So I joined a health clinic with my mom (she joined more for moral support, not because she needs to lose weight per say) and I started to change my life around. And it was hard. I would get a craving for something sweet, No. I would want to go out, No. I would want to munch on a snack, No. I went from eating to whatever to "Felicia! Put the cookie down and nobody gets hurt." I suppose it didn't help that I started on October 31... Actually, I remember sharing with a select few of friends and one asked me why on Halloween? My response, because, I'm STUPID! (Plus, Halloween fell on a Monday, so I blame the inventors of the calendar, whom were the Romans... Those sick bastards. Seriously, who designs a time keeping device that would torture someone is such a way? The Romans.)

This is me October 31, 2011

I weighted (oh my gosh I don't even want to say it!!) 308.25lbs (140.1kg)

This is me as of today

I weighted in at 276.5lbs (125.6kg)

That's a loss of 31.75lbs (14.4kg) and 40.5" over all.

I'm not even close where I want to be. But I'm going, I'm getting there. Every journey starts with a step and for the past 5 months I've been stepping and inching closer to what I want. I'm sorry for the disorganized blog, it's all coming out in a way that's a bit raw, but sometimes there are things that just need to be a bit raw (like a nice piece of steak).

I can't assume that your inspired, but I want to hope that you now too feel that nothing is out of your reach.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Oddly Interesting

I was reading Winnipeg Metro this morning and I came across a very interesting statistic that read you have a "one-in-200,000 chance of being hit by an asteroid".


An asteroid?

Why would anyone what to know the odds on that kind of stuff? For me that's on the same level as LARPing (that's Live Action Role Playing for those of you who aren't hardcore, and trust me, it's better if you don't ask how I know that) and dressing up to go trick-or-treating when your 24...

But, when it comes right down to it, don't we secretly enjoy knowing the odds we face? Think about it. We're inspired by stories of how one person can go from total desolation to being on top of the world, or how a few voices can topple a nation.

We love it and we can't seem to get enough. And we think to ourselves, 'What are the odds?'

It's one big discussion. We talk about at the dinner table, while texting friends, in the lunch room at work and sometimes with strangers. In fact, I was heading with my Grandma from the store to go back home, when an older woman with her granddaughter asked me, 'Do you think it will snow tonight?', I chuckled my reply, 'I hope not!'

Sometimes I think we try to get the odds to work in our favor, like we're trying to 'out smart' the system. But, what 'system' are we trying to work out with our cleverness? I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just asking how is it useful? Why do we need to be resist? To fight? To create a ruckus? A muck?

I suppose it comes down to this. The odds aren't there to make life insane or impossible, but add adventure, a bit of spice. They make life interesting and supply you with funny stories to share around the water cooler.

In the end I say enjoy the odds... Just don't gamble with them.

Friday, June 24, 2011

A Tree is Falling Somewhere

I feel like blogging is prehaps one of the useless things we do. Seriously, who reads these things? If you want a record of your thoughts: keep a journal, if you want to rant and rave: go to the pub, get smashed off your face, and complain to the barkeeper (thats what he's paid for right?). I just mean that it is highly unlikely that anyone, other then myself, is going to know that this blog even exists; unless I gain a stalker which I have -0.001% chance of having. It's more likely that I will be the one who becomes a stalker which I have no plans of doing, I have a twitter account for that; seriously, "[name] is now following you"? I feel like I have two options when I see that in my inbox: 1. I grow a beard, put on a dress, and learn to speak Arabic; 2. I buy a tazer. But that is a thread for a different day.

I don't know. I just think we need to spend a little more time creating community and sharing our thoughts in that forum where we know they will be heard rather then sending useless information out into a space where they won't be. And if you happen to read this, then my entire arguement had been made null and void; but if you don't comment, well... if a tree falls... right?

Friday, July 16, 2010

Unhelpful Help Pages

I'm just annoyed. Annoyed is what I am. I even posted my 'Annoyed Face' photo. I was trying to link my Optus billing to the 'my account' section so that I can view my bills online instead of wasting paper being sent to my house. Which doesn't really make sense to me, because should I link my bills to my account so I can be see my own bills? I must admit that is just a bit of a fail on upper management thinking... Anyways I entered all the information they needed and it failed for whatever reason. So eventually I needed up going to the Help Centre that the website sports and it explained how to do all the linking and so forth, which was not helpful and this is the reason. I had already watched a tutorial on how to link all the linking bits and the Help Centre repeated exactly what what the video said. And on top of the there was no FAQ for me to look up. In the end I had to go the Contact Us page and enter a complaint, because I can't link my bills to my account and because I can't link my bills, I can't view my bills and I can't view my bills because they can't be linked to my account... It just goes around in an endless circle and it is all quite exhausting.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Australia Bound

Hello All,
Well I'm in my few final days before I have to begin packing and sorting and pretending to be responsible; you know the usual stuff. I'm excited and a little worried at the same time.

Spending time with friends and family sort of makes all of this a little surreal, I just hope reality doesn't hit me to hard, when I realize that you do need to separate your whites from your darks and under no circumstances, no matter how bright the red is, it doesn't count as a white.

Yes, we all have our own adventures to trek and unexplored territory to map, but I can't believe that this is really happening now. I'm free to go and discover, and that is a most liberating feeling.